I really like watching Dr. Phil. I actually DVR him every day & love having a marathon whenever I have the time. He has a ten life laws that are so insightful. My favorite has got to be “There is no reality, only perception”. I can sure tell you that is true in my life!
As a matter of fact, I’ve been dealing with that a lot recently. You guys all know that I started working fulltime about 6 months ago, after being a stay at home mom/wife for over 20 years. I’m not gonna lie….it’s been very hard. It is a huge adjustment going from being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want to having to follow a schedule and answer to a boss.
Tom recently got a new job and his schedule is pretty much opposite of mine. He’s home when I’m at work a lot of the time or I’m at home when he is at work. Now, we aren’t like a lot of couples that have been married for over 20 years. We actually really, really enjoy spending time together! It’s great that we are still so close, but it makes being apart very hard.
Putting both of those issues together, along with the fact that I’m having lots of hormonal type problems that makes everything harder, it is really getting difficult to go to work every day. So many days I just want to quit. I just want to come back home and go back to being a stay at home mom/wife (even though my “baby” is away at college now, lol!). Unfortunately, financially that is just not an option at this point. Eventually, yes for sure, but not right yet.
That means that I need to make this a bearable situation for me. I need to find a way to deal with working until I can come back home. In order to do that, I think I need to change my thinking. This is where Dr. Phil’s “no reality, only perception” idea comes into play. The reality is that no matter how easy my job seems, or how ideal the situation seems, I want to be at home instead. I can’t change that. But I do have the ability to change my perception. I think focusing on the positives is a great way to do this.
Let’s get started…..
1) My job is very relaxed. I have the ability to knit, surf the net, read, clip coupons, and so on if I’ve completed my tasks for the day. A big part of my job is simply being available in case people call or come into the church.
2) I’m at the church alone a lot & have complete control over my office. I can set things up the way I want. I can prioritize my tasks the way I see fit. I can have the temperature set to my comfort. I can play music if I want to. I’m on my own a lot and I enjoy the independence.
3) My boss is very, very kind and understanding. He seems to really value my work & appreciates me. We get along well and respect each other. He’s nice if I make a mistake and is willing to shoulder responsibility if necessary. He’s even good about giving me time off when I need it and has sent me home early lots of times just to be nice.
4) The people of the church are very nice. I love when they come to visit. It’s nice that they care about me and that I care about them. I love working in an environment where it is acceptable to pray or cry if I feel the need. I also love that my connection with the church members is appreciated.
5) By working, I am able to help out with the household budget. I’m also able to take some of the responsibility off Tom’s shoulders. He’s been carrying it for over 20 years and maybe it is now my time to relieve him of some of the weight. Not to mention the fact that eventually we may even have some spare cash to do fun things!
6) Although us working different schedules is very hard, it isn’t forever. Eventually he’ll get a different shift or maybe I can work something out at the church where I work slightly different hours. Plus, because we have a limited amount of time together, we are finding that we cherish that time even more. We look forward to it and enjoy every second.
7) This one is terrible to admit, but I will. I love hearing my husband tell me how much he misses me. It feels good. I like how it makes him even more attentive to me. And more affectionate. I really do like that a lot!
8) Because we’re both off on different days, it gives us a chance to get some household chores and projects completed without cutting into our time together. He goes to the grocery on his days off. I do laundry on my days off and so on. It’s a work in progress but we’re on the path to actually getting a working plan in place.
Wow! Those are a lot of positives considering how down I’ve been feeling! I can totally see where changing my perception makes a huge difference!